Friendship killers

Girls, Firends, Buddy, Three, DressesDo you have”friendships” that are killing you? I mean, would you have the kinds of friends that you come away from feeling like you have to downplay your accomplishments or talents?
Do you have friends which are overly possessive? Backstabbing? Or, are you one of those sorts of friends? In this article, I reveal the top 10 behaviors that are killing your friendships — and what you can do to be a better friend and have healthy friendships.
I do not understand how it works with guys, but women are notoriously catty. Trust me. I grew up with a very jealous and aggressive mother who could not endure for me to shine. In actuality, she is going to be 75 years old in June, and she hates for me to be a confident, self-assured woman because she feels really threatened.
I also grew up with 4 catty sisters whose sole goal in life was to rip me (and every other) down. So I know a thing or two about jealousy.
How to Spot Jealousy in a Friend
You know your friend is jealous when she behaves passive aggressively by constantly making comments (put downs) about your boyfriend, your clothes, your lifestyle, etc. and you end up having to downplay your accomplishments and talents just so she won’t get angry or start being aggressive.
Jealousy destroys relationships as you can never be happy for another person. And the very essence of friendship is support for one another.
Advice: If you are the jealous type, ask yourself why you feel less than. Build your self-esteem by doing esteemable items for yourself and others.
If your buddy is the jealous one, have a serious conversation with her. Tell her you want to be supportive, but that you can’t and won’t be in a friendship that’s rife with jealousy.
By the way, I don’t talk to my mother anymore – and I will only deal with one of my sisters. Yeah. It was that bad.
With selfish friends, it is always about them. Everything must be on their terms. If you do not go along with their program, they try to make you feel guilty, put you down, etc..
Advice: You may just be dealing with someone who is unaware that they’re selfish. If that’s the case, you want to gently tell your friend how her behavior affects you.
If you are dealing with a narcissist, you might want to end the friendship, because it will always be one-sided.
The manipulative friend can never be direct. They understand your weaknesses, so they hint around when they want you to do something, knowing you will fall for their manipulation – hook, line and sinker.
Advice: Tell your buddy nicely that you’d appreciate it if she would be more direct with you.
Friendship Killer #4 – Possessiveness
I had a friend who constantly put down any other friend I wanted to hang out with because she couldn’t endure for me to be with anybody else. When I needed to include others in activities, she vehemently opposed.
Advice: Smothering somebody –telling them they can not have other friends — is a symptom of fear of jealousy. When it’s you who’s behaving possessively, ask yourself why you’re so terrified of losing your friend. When it’s your friend who is possessive, ask her the same thing – lightly of course.
Then seek therapy.
Friendship Killer #5 – The Critic
Together with the critic, you can never win. At times you can almost win, but inevitably the critic will find something wrong with you or what you did, what you’re wearing, etc..
Being around someone who is overly critical is catastrophic to your psyche and your self-worth.
Advice: Let go of the friendship. Individuals that are overly critical will always raise the bar just out of your reach. It’s a no-win circumstance.
The exploder consistently keeps you off balance. It’s their way of controlling you. Being friends with an exploder is like walking through a minefield. You don’t know what is going to put them off. Walking on eggshells in a relationship is not healthy and inhibits the development of both parties.
Advice: Tell your friend to seek anger management, or you are gone.
Friendship Killer #7 – Covetedness
Everyone gets a twinge of jealousy occasionally. But when it’s a constant in your friendship — that’s bad. Coveting goes hand in hand with jealousy. Nonetheless, it’s a closer cousin to envy.
Your envious friend always wants what you have. The mentality is”there’s not enough to go around, so I want what is yours.”
Advice: Tell your friend you sense her envy and that it is uncomfortable. Tell her when she acts on her covetedness, you may associate with her less.
God I hate disloyal people. Disloyal friends are the backstabbers. Gossips. They’re the ones you share a confidence with and then you hear about it on the 6:00 O’clock news. They are the ones who laugh at you when you fall down – instead of helping you up.
Here is the deal. I don’t think people should be loyal to a fault. But you need to be loyal until your friend no more deserves your loyalty.
Liars annoy the heck out of me. You can not trust them. Ever. And you can not have a friendship with no trust.
Advice: Confront your friend for their lies. Tell them that you can’t trust them if they are lying to you all of the time and that trust is an important, and necessary part of the friendship.
Friendship Killer #10 – Being overly”Busy”
Relationships aren’t one sided. But friendships take time and effort. You’ve got to decide whether you really want the friendship because it takes an investment.
If your friend is always saying she’s”busy”, it just means she does not want to be friends anymore.
Advice: I would see how often she tells me she’s too busy to hang out before I pull the plug on the friendship.
Conclusion
Friendships are an important part of life. So you want to make certain that you’re not getting drained by the very men and women who are supposed to be uplifting to you. This advice goes for any kind of relationship.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *